This month is National Novel Writing Month, and I've used this as stimulus to put more than a few thousand words into the Dizzy Hearts script. It's times like this I reflect on where I started, and I question what the project is, and where it's going.
When I reflect like this, I question how much Dizzy Hearts actually means to me.
When I started the project, I naturally had most of the story mapped out mentally, before I even began writing. And over the last year I've built foundations for not only this game, but stories set in the same world. I've conceptualized stories, fantasized about things and tried my best to create interesting characters that people might like.
Day dreaming is something I find comes naturally to me, and I enjoy doing. But distilling what I think into something small that others can understand is very hard for me to do.
This is why I continue to try and write, and talk about the project with the friends interested in the game. Wondering how certain things will go, and how certain events will transpire before I write them.
I don't really blame anyone for the lack of reception, because from the very beginning, the story was bound to be very, very odd. In one respect, it's part eroge. As one of the main characters is a futanari, and there are themes in the story and this universe(not necessarily this game) that are taboo to most people.
But I wouldn't necessarily consider it obscene, even though it is pornographic. As I want to write a story that is not only sexy, but interesting, heart felt. To make people sad, happy, to laugh and to cry.
I think my biggest mistake in talking about Dizzy Hearts, was how I did it. Rather than trying to advertise it as a story game with futanari. I should have explained that it is a futanari game, with a story. In the beginning I tried to downplay what Dizzy Hearts was about, hoping that what I would write would keep players interested. Now I realize that was a mistake. Today, I hope that if futanari is something you are interested in, then I would like to write new stories you might like. That I feel have never been written before. Or have never really been approached as a serious and entertaining subject. As commonly futanari is seen as a "obscene fetish" that is extremely pornographic, or so unrealistic it's absurd. When it can be as 'normal' as any other fetish or interest.
Sure it may be just my fetish pandering talking, but there are interesting stories to tell here I think. As many authors have asked of aspiring writers. "Remove the core of your game, if your game can still stand up, then it's not necessary". During development of DH's story, many things were added, changed to make it stronger, to create scaffolding that answered that one question.
As a game with futanari, I don't consider it much different then making a Galge, Otoge or BL game. If you can make a coming out of the closet story without gay/bi characters, that story wouldn't hold up would it? Likewise, Dizzy Hearts is telling a story about futanari in a "real world scenario", and I hope in interesting and emotionally provoking ways.
Dizzy Hearts is about Princess Mercilia who's the youngest Fiore(futanari) daughter of the current Queen of her country. The most inexperienced and likely least suited to be Queen, in fact. It's a story about a naive human from an underground country, who's traveled half-way across the world to see something her people have never seen before. A world where there is a sun, and also a moon too.
How she moves from a airy, dry, desert. Into a cold, dark winter land. How this girl meets the young Princess, and why they fall in love. It's about where they go from there. About why the Queen of her country, who Mercilia has never really known has made her next in line to be Queen. Why Mercilia never wanted that responsibility in the first place. The story of Nail, Aunyrae and Irraere, three characters with their own stories deeply tied to who Mercilia is, and how she could end up.
For me it's often hard to translate the thoughts in my head into something tangible. but I still try my hardest to write it in a way people might like. I think even if I wanted to, I couldn't abandon the project when I've devoted so much time and personal energy into making it, and writing it, and drawing for it. Even if I might be one of the only ones truly dedicated and interested in the game.
In the end, I want the sex in Dizzy Hearts to portrayed not only in an entertaining way, but in a more realistic(as realistic as futanari can be) or yuri/futa-esque way.. It's an erotic game but I wish to tell it like an erotic story, rather than a game simply for masturbation. I hope that it interests you.
Thank you very much for following Dizzy Hearts.